Bridging the Energy Gap: How to Support Yourself and Your Hyperactive Child

As mothers, we know that parenting is not just an emotional journey—it’s also a physiological one. When you’re feeling subdued or even depressed, your body and mind send signals that your child instinctively picks up on.

According to polyvagal theory, our nervous system plays a crucial role in how we experience safety and connection.

When a parent’s energy is low or dissociative, it can create a ripple effect, causing your child to shift into a heightened state of sympathetic activation.

In simple terms, if you’re feeling down or disconnected, your child might appear hyperactive or even chaotic, as they try to generate energy in an effort to bring you back to a state of alertness and connection.

This seesaw effect is more than just a behavioral issue—it’s an energetic mismatch between you and your child. When you’re not fully present, your child may feel unsafe, triggering them to become overly active in an attempt to regain balance.

Recognizing this dynamic is the first step in addressing it. Instead of viewing your child’s hyperactivity as misbehavior, consider it a signal that they are reacting to the state of your nervous system.

So, how can you bridge that gap and help both you and your child find a calm, connected state?

Here are a few proactive tips:

1. Move Your Body Together:

Incorporate gentle, rhythmic movement into your daily routine. Whether it’s a slow dance in the living room, a mindful yoga session, or even a family walk in nature, moving together can help harmonize your energy. These activities stimulate the vagus nerve and promote a sense of safety and connection.

2. Embrace Touch and Connection:

Physical touch is a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system. A warm hug, a gentle back rub, or even sitting close together can help soothe both your emotional state and your child’s. This intentional, nurturing touch communicates safety and reinforces your bond.

3. Use Calming Rhythms:

Integrate calming sounds or music into your routine. Soft, rhythmic music or even nature sounds can help slow down the pace and create an environment conducive to relaxation. Sing together, listen to calming tunes, or simply allow the gentle rhythm to guide your day.

4. Prioritize Self-Compassion:

Understand that when you’re feeling low, it’s not a reflection of your worth as a mother—it’s a natural part of the human experience. Acknowledge your feelings with compassion, and take small steps to care for your mental and emotional well-being. This might mean setting aside a few minutes for deep breathing or a mindfulness practice, allowing yourself to recalibrate so you can better support your child.

By focusing on these strategies, you can help realign your energy with your child’s, creating a more harmonious environment for both of you.

Remember, your well-being is vital not only for yourself but also for the emotional development of your child. Embracing these practices is a powerful way to foster resilience, build a deeper connection, and ultimately create a nurturing, balanced home.